30 September 2004

JOhnKErry -Asian Swamp Eel

"Watched the convention and believe the party may get a bump from it but not a large one given the pretty much even split in the electorate. The flip-floppers in the hall may have done as much damage to Kerry as any speaker could have. Anyway, now it's on to the debates. Your blog site must be fun, thanks...Hope George can get his act together and speak complete, articulate sentences." -PoliSciTeach

The above is from an exchange with one of SpinDaddys former political science teachers from college. She may be joining bspolitix.blog as an occasional guest commentator, anyway below is SpinDaddys response.

Inarticulate and awkwardly formed, yet sincere sentences trump flop-flipping "nuanced" nonsense E V E R Y T I M E IT HAS BEEN TRIED. Remember the punditry had AlGore wiping the floor with W, for the very reasons you alluded to. I believe the American electorate not quite so demanding of oral perfection as the leftist elites in the media and the academy.

That being said, Heinz-Kerry will offer a challenge to Bush in the debates. Not because he is possesed of a superior intellect or is a more talented debater, hardly. No, the reason Heinz-Kerry will be a challenge in the debates is because in order for W to nail him on a point, Heinz-Kerry has to actually take a position on something. How W will find a position to pin to Heinz-Kerry will be interesting.

Perhaps W will highlight the dilemma he faces in finding any such points, and will nail him with that. Perhaps W need not show up at the debates at all, as Heinz-Kerry v Heinz-Kerry would be quite a lively debate per se.

Heinz-Kerry is the political equivalant of the Asian swamp eel. Particularly he shares the characteristic with the eel about how "The skin produces a thick mucous layer making the eels difficult to hold". Other similarities John Heinz-Kerry shares with the non-indigenous invasive species (currently Florida is under assault from these nasty creatures) is that the eel is extraordinarily adaptive to changing environments (kinda' like Heinz-Kerrys political positions).

I don't make these things up. I did notice the similarities and make the comparison, but all the things I have said about the asian swamp eel are true, read about this nasty things, see if it doesn't sound eerily like a certain Slack-Jaw from New England.

The only consistent position I have found involving Heinz-Kerry is that of sliming veterans. He did it consistently and to great effect during the 70's, he did it again during the 80's and 90's as a senator by consistently voting against every major arms system that has been so effective recently, and of course now he is sliming all other vets that have the audacity not to bow before him.

Unless they happen to be one of 9 of the swift boat guys willing to be seen with him, they are fair game for a Heinz-Kerry sliming. What's next a book burning of Unfit For Command? Heinz-Kerry's propensity for suppresion of dissent (I should say attempted suppresion) is truly cause for concern. The other 250-odd swift boat guys are truly alarmed at the prospect of his presidency.

I suspect that Texas and Texans being big on killing and BBQing up all nature of critters, W and his buddies are probably working on a recipe that can make tasty BBQ out of even an asian swamp eel. -SpinDaddy